| I don't understand how things are so clear and simple for some, how God always seems to be shining his light on them. Everything to me has "buts" and "excepts". Constantly tortured by the wispy smoke of possibilities and inconsistencies.
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| My backbone is not God, it is not my family, it is not my love, it is not my grades, not my faith, it is not my strength.
My backbone is my hoard of secrets. My secrets keep me moving.
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| I've just been sitting at home doing the usual pseudo-intellectual procrastination. Going through old things and reflecting on my naivete and lost genius, and the times when I lived without second guessing and unobligingly. I threw out all these memos because there no longer is any need to hold on to them.
Lack of sleep and exercise can turn you into a very unaccomodating old hag. You're robbed of basic abilities and strength to do what you want to do, so you fight back by not doing anything you don't want to, a feeble roar though that might be. I see those who I want to see and want to see me, I read the books that don't shut me out. And then, it dawns upon you that this is really all you need. We don't need fancy bags to suit every outfit, we don't need all these books that intellectuals are supposed to have read, we don't need every guy that comes aknocking, and we certainly don't need vitamin water. I don't need to drown in toxic and selfish friends, and I don't need to rip and tear my way through the fearful, desperate world. We really just need to watch and float, live by our principles, and enjoy.
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| I'd like to live without fear
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| Choosing Lady Gaga over NIN.
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